Before You Forgive Someone Who Hurt You..........

When suffering hurts, it’s easy to focus on the anger, violation, or pain. As a believer, processing pain God’s way is no easy task.  I've found that pain is a reality when loving and living with people, we all give and get to some degree. People say we forgive for ourselves, not for the other person. But as believers, we forgive because it is required by the Lord, and you can't be forgiven without giving forgiveness.

So how can one reconcile this tough place of hurt, especially when it involves abusive people who could care less about how you feel, and are counting on you to NOT retaliate because of your commitment to the ways of the Lord? Well, this is what I have found to be needed before I forgive.

The first thing I do is turn my focus from the situation to the Lord and request healing and cleansing, so my forgiveness is not fake. Healing and cleansing are spiritual medical interventions by the Holy Spirit to renew and restore my soul back to its state of wholeness. Without this immediate process, my forgiveness is limited, and it’s haunted by my desire for vindication, and my carnal attempts at closure- trying to get over it and be the bigger person. 

Healing and cleansing do not give me amnesia, but it frees me from contaminating thoughts, perspectives, and desires that would hinder me from cooperating with God and how He wants to handle my situation. It assassinates pride, that thing that keeps Hurt angry, isolated, or justified. Hurt always wants me to justify myself and demonstrate my personal power and position of respect. If I don’t turn and receive healing and cleansing, then all my prayers and attempts to forgive are temporary and full of suspicion and conditions.  

Healing and cleansing connect me to God without the interference of Hurt; I can hear what God has to say, receive, and follow through with clean motives. Sometimes He leads me to discover things I could have done differently, sometimes He frees me to stand up; either way His way is best. 

I've learned that strength and might are important, but not always needed to subdue an enemy or a foe, or to speak up with a loved one, or to set boundaries.  All these responses are absolutely established and found in the Lord, and they are better discerned through a healed and cleansed heart.